MORE JOURNALISM

Now that the newspapers are dropping like flies, it's up to us bloggers to shoulder the burden of reportage. So, in true blogger fashion, here's what I did for lunch. It was either this or the economic crisis, and our staff of crack reporters was damned if he was going to pass up a leisurely lunch on cogan's patio on a day like this. <--See, I threw in a little weather, too.

PIECE OF A PANORAMA

I don't know why I feel compelled to undertake these massive projects (this piece is a little less than half; you can see the whole thing here.) It's not exactly the Sistine Chapel, after all. For the record, from left to right we have Mike, Chris, Rennie, Bernard and Nicole. This was from a sketchcrawl a few weeks ago. And if you examine the full version, you can see who's not doing any sketching. I rest my case. I'm not quite sure what my case is, but I rest it anyway. I'm a firm believer in resting things.

SEAWALL FESTIVAL PEOPLE

Hilary did a creditable job last night, don't you think? It must have been terrifically hard for her. I still harbor a visceral dislike for her, though, and I'm still sorting out how much of it is due to male prejudices. I mean, whenever I heard some blockhead cable commentator say things like Hilary reminds him of a hectoring mother-in-law, my first response would always be, "ooh, he's right" and after an unconscionable gap I would realize why that's not a fair response. Whenever we accuse a woman in public life of being shrill, we're really saying, "why doesn't she act like a man?" It's going to take a while to overcome that, I think. In the meantime, there's plenty of Clintonian ugliness that can be legitimately pinned on her. So even if I became a better person, I still wouldn't like her. So it's really not worth trying to become a better person. That's my position. And those pantsuits! Why does she insist on wearing those godawful pantsuits?! See there's another example: how often do we have anything at all to say about a male candidate's wardrobe? There was Al Gore's focus-grouped earth tones, but that was more about manipulation than about how he looked. The sad truth is that men are just more primitive than women, and you can't just select a trait you don't like and scrub it out of them. It's all part of the whole package. And all we can do is feel guilty and loathsome or else turn around and celebrate our boorishness. Seen any Judd Apatow movies lately? Okay, enough. Where are those damn meds?

A GIRL WHO INSISTED ON POSING FOR ME

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With my luck, she's giving some sort of gang sign that will inevitably lead, through however many twists and turns, to my being beaten to a pulp. If you're going to be beaten to something, pulp is not what you want to shoot for. I'd put in a request for being beaten to the consistency of silly putty, see where it went. When I was younger, I used to dream that I was made of silly putty and I would press myself against people and then transfer their image to a canvas and people would marvel at the likeness and give me a grant. I've come to realize the impracticality of that dream in the intervening months, because silly putty doesn't have eyes and, with my luck, I would press myself up against a gangbanger, and then I'd be back at square one.

DRAW DRAW DRAW

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Draw draw draw. Draw draw draw draw draw. Draw draw. Draw draw draw draw draw draw draw. Draw draw draw draw. Draw draw draw. Draw draw draw draw draw. Draw draw. Draw draw draw draw draw draw draw. Draw draw draw draw. Draw draw draw. Draw draw draw draw draw. Draw draw. Draw draw draw draw draw draw draw. Draw draw draw draw. Draw draw draw. Draw draw draw draw draw. Draw draw. Draw draw draw draw draw draw draw. Draw draw draw draw. Draw draw draw. Draw draw draw draw draw. Draw draw. Draw draw draw draw draw draw draw. Draw draw draw draw. Draw draw draw. Draw draw draw draw draw. Draw draw. Draw draw draw draw draw draw draw. Draw draw draw draw. Draw draw draw. Draw draw draw draw draw. Draw draw. Draw draw draw draw draw draw draw. Draw draw draw draw. Draw draw draw. Draw draw draw draw draw. Draw draw. Draw draw draw draw draw draw draw. Draw draw draw draw.Draw draw draw. Draw draw draw draw draw. Draw draw. Draw draw draw draw draw draw draw. Draw draw draw draw. Draw draw draw. Draw draw draw draw draw. Draw draw. Draw draw draw draw draw draw draw. Draw draw draw draw. Draw draw draw. Draw draw draw draw draw. Draw draw. Draw draw draw draw draw draw draw. Draw draw draw draw.Draw draw draw. Draw draw draw draw draw. Draw draw. Draw draw draw draw draw draw draw. Draw draw draw draw. Draw draw draw. Draw draw draw draw draw. Draw draw. Draw draw draw draw draw draw draw. Draw draw draw draw. Draw draw draw. Draw draw draw draw draw. Draw draw. Draw draw draw draw draw draw draw. Draw draw draw draw. Draw draw draw. Draw draw draw draw draw. Draw draw. Draw draw draw draw draw draw draw. Draw draw draw draw.

READERS

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A vanishing breed. Shills for the Brave New World claim that people are doing their reading on the internet now, but the numbers show that even those who are, are reading less. And if you ever tried reading a book on a computer monitor, you know why. When we stop reading, we put our brains in the hands of those who spew content onto our TV and computer screens. Even if we disagree with these jerks, we're letting them set the agenda. Who's going to be left to say that maybe Angie's pregnancy isn't quite as important as the decimation of marine life in the Gulf of Mexico? Well. maybe it was always this way. Maybe it's nothing more than that I'm entering the grumpy old man phase of my life. There's something to look forward to.

WE'RE ALL ON THE BUS

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I don't require that the things I say mean anything, as long as they sound portentious. I'm easy on myself in that regard. I cut myself some slack. Because, goddamit, I like myself. I grant myself plenty of Me Time, because if I don't who will? If I don't love myself, how can I love others? And why would I want to, anyway? Wouldn't that be cheating on myself? I'm the kind of person who heeds the instruction to affix the oxygen mask to my own face first, so that I may help others, if I should so choose. If that other person could make a compelling case for me helping them. If they could persuade me to put them on the agenda for help. And then, of course, I would have to bring it before the committee. The committee of one. The committee is not inclined to add to its already burdensome workload. The committee tables a lot of things. Just a heads up.