CHOOSING CHEESECAKE

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Every so often I'm reminded that there are people on the planet who are older than I am, and I'm not just referring to some ancient yogurt-eaters in Azerbaijan, I mean walking around in our malls and stuff. Someone through whose eyes I could see myself as a hyperactive youngster, full of innocence and potential. Innocence in a good way, that is, not the 'fallen off the turnip truck' variety, which I continue to be scandalously labeled with. Which. It's been many decades since I was thought of as a prodigy, that moniker having elided into 'prodigal' early on. You know what would be fun? If everybody were issued a Taser. I think that would be fun.