Back when I was a student, we didn't have Starbucks to study in. We had to dig pits in the ground and study in them. And not with shovels, either--with little plastic sporks. Back in those days we didn't have nice clean books, neither. Our texts were written out on cabbage leaves, backwards like Leonardo da Vinci, with dung ink. And people hadn't learned to read silently yet. We all screamed out what we were reading, and if we were studying different subjects, it was darn hard to concentrate, let me tell you. And the tests! Every time we answered a question wrong, the teacher would have dwarves kick us. And if you were caught cheating, you had to drink the teacher's urine. This is the truth, I'm not exaggerating. And our iPods were made of wood.