This guy walked into Starbucks this morning. Naturally, we all ducked under the tables to protect ourselves from the inevitable hail of bullets. But he was evidently not a madman, just a mad man. What a difference a space makes, huh? I think I'd like to try being a madman for a while. Not a world-class madman like Saddam Hussein, just a local madman. I would set the bar a little lower. Like round up all the local people of Greek descent and pinch them. Or make everybody with red hair move to Portsmouth. There haven't been many silly tyrants in history. I believe there's a niche to fill. Or maybe I could be both silly AND evil. I could order all the Lithuanians in town to gather in Town Point Park and wear bunny ears and sing Chicago's "does anybody really know what time it is" song, and then I'd line them up and shoot them. Man, they wouldn't see that coming.