APOLOGIA

ballpark.jpg

As the butcher said when he backed into the meat grinder, I've gotten a little behind in my work. I think that was my Dad's joke. So if you've noticed a delay in posting your self-portraits, It's because I was shanghaied into manning a refreshment stand at the ballpark for some charity or other by do-gooder friends. And it turned out to be a double-header. But I got to eat all the ballpark nachos I wanted, and if you know anything about food, you know that ballpark nachos are the best nachos there are. And the specially-formulated nacho cheese forms a rubber-like coating over your entire digestive system that protects you from the two-day-old hotdogs and the chewy popcorn nuggets that often come down the chute later. But perhaps the most rewarding aspect of the night was the opportunity to mingle with guys who believe that drinking 15 large beers and sending sage advice to the players ("Hit the fucking ball!") and then dispersing beer #16 over the attendees in lower rows is an appropriate allocation of personal resources. And the thing is, there weren't just a few people like that--_everybody_ was like that. It was a Convocation of Assholes. Okay, I'm sorry, I'm like totally overlooking the point of my participation. And of this post, which was to say, be patient and I'll catch up with the self-portraits, and all will be well.