I'm not going to insult your intelligence by explaining why. I'll find other ways to insult your intelligence. Suffice it to say that I'm pleased to find a way to use the phrase "suffice it to say" in a sentence. By the same token, it seems that my writing, and indeed my thinking, are driven by stock phrases that pop into my brain as one sentence is finished and the next one requires a jump start. That said, I often have nothing of substance with which to follow the stock phrase, unfortunately. For my facility is a facile one. You see, I spent 20 years as an advertising "creative", and it's clear that the industry draws, and nurtures, people with some amount of creativity, but who are shallow and lazy to the degree that they will never do anything really creative like write a book or paint a masterpiece. Their metier is a 30-second spot or the headline of a print ad, which at best contain a bit of wittiness the equivalent of which is repeated dozens of times even in the most insipid Hollywood movie. And the capper is that their "creativity" is almost entirely irrelevant to how well the given ad achieves its goal. Case in point: one of my favorite commercials currently airing has a guy sitting in some doctor's waiting room, and he solves a child's ring puzzle sitting on a coffee table, and immediately begins bragging about his accomplishment. "It's like I'm the king of this thing!" he crows. The spot is for someone who claims their product or service is made for people who like their challenges to be simple, but I couldn't tell you who it was even if you were threatening to pour molten lead into my colon, and don't think I don't know who you are.

That said, I didn't really mean to plunge back into the swamp of bitter regret. I made a good living from advertising, which was a perfect match for my facile talents. But it's at the forefront of the cynical emptiness that infects our society. Shit, there I go again. As a blogger friend of mine feels compelled to say from time to time, "Shut up, Sparky." At the end of the day, I'll stick with my stock opening phrases and be content with them.