I WOULDN'T HAVE THOUGHT THIS COULD GET ANY WORSE

I guess it's just my naive, trusting nature, but I thought we had pretty much hit bottom in the last local elections, what with every single one of the aspirants accusing the others of being hideously disfigured violent criminals and whatnot, but a major untapped target never occurred to me: kids! Those parasitic little bastards who rob us of money that could go toward the purchase of that plasma TV! Who could sit through this onslaught and still make a convincing argument for the essential decency of human beings?