I KNOW, I KNOW -- ELVIS DOESN'T LOOK LIKE THIS

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But the Elvis Karaoke Machine currently sitting in Sharper Image does. The idea of it is ghastly enough, but the execution is truly hideous. Be that as it may, it functions beautifully as a symbol of what's depressing about the holiday season. Store windows are glistening with huge teetering mounds of useless crap for us to buy for each other and use once. I'm not opposed to a holiday that promotes the spirit of giving, but is this really the only thing we can think of to do? Go out and buy overpriced junk? That's all we've got to give?