BRAIN REPORT

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That brain-part-asleep phenomenon I mentioned yesterday seems to be still with me. And growing. Is it possible to be in a semi-coma? To be in a pre-comatose state? I'm grateful that it's just the parts that govern higher mental activities and not, say, bodily functions. I have enough trouble socializing with others; uncontrolled bodily functions would not be a plus. Well, a few of the people I socialize with would find it entertaining, no doubt. But those are the very people I'm trying to ease out of my posse, for the very reason that their presence alone drives others to the periphery of my social circle. Well...it's good to see that the section of gray matter devoted to aimless noodling is still at 100%. But as for the rest, I can't see where the ability to ponder deeper issues or to consider moral imperatives or to brood over the purpose of life have done me much good. Without these hindrances, I might have turned out more like, say, Donald Trump, sitting atop the carcasses of anyone who got in his way, lighting his gold-plated cigar with a Benjamin. But the potential-Trump areas of my brain must also have gone to sleep, because my highest ambition at the moment is to look harder for the TV section of yesterday's paper so I can see if Judge Joe Brown is on Sundays too.

Hey,cool! The little arrow-in-a-box icon that links to a blowup of the picture has decided to migrate up into my copy entirely on its own. Now that's ambition!