from "MEN EATING BISCUITS" by S. Donatello


I was at the mall today picking up a cable from the Apple store--I swear, that's all I was there for--and down in the atrium they were having a wedding. A wedding! Boy, are they going to regret that in a few years. At least I hope they are. If they don't, that means they're just two more brain-dead idiots--like Republicans or something--and they're going to have lots of babies.The horror! The horror! Why can't they all be correct, like me? Except that would be awful, too, cause then who would I look down on? And the lines at the Naro would be too long and the New Yorker would sell out in minutes and the scoundrels in office would all be our own. I shudder to think on't. So anyway, the newlyweds are having a reception in Chili's, and then later on the marriage is going to be consummated at Victoria's Secret.