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One thing I can look back on and be proud of is, I've never been administered a roundhouse kick. That could be my epitaph, maybe. "One thing you gotta say for him," someone might grudgingly admit, "he was never administered a roundhouse kick." Not that some people didn't want to administer a roundhouse kick to me. But they were mostly the kind of people who wouldn't know how to administer a roundhouse kick if their lives depended on it. They would hire someone else to do it, but they would be stymied because no one in their circles has this particular ability either. You could canvass Junior Chambers of Commerce for months and not turn up anyone who could adminster a roundhouse kick. In which case, you would be stymied too. That's another thing you could add to my eulogy, "he sure stymied a lot of people, you gotta hand him that."

One unlooked-for benefit of this entry: the people who Googled Chuck Norris and were brought here. Stymied, assholes!