FIRST REAL DAY OF SPRING

granby st pizza.jpg

This is the day when you step outside and say, "Okay, it's finally here for real. No more tricks." That primitive part of us that was hibernating through the false alarms now prepares to go skipping through the meadows distributing flower petals on the breeze. I speak metaphorically, of course. Me, I headed for Granby Street Pizza and slobbered over piles of cheese 'n' grease out on the patio. What a gauntlet of construction barriers I had to navigate to get there, though! The Acme Orange Plastic Cone Company must be awash in Halliburton-style profits right now, all due to Norfolk. Maybe they can afford to relocated in Dubai now, too. On the other hand, they may be in a death struggle with A-1 Orange Barrel With Silver Stripes Company, which seems to be making inroads. I bet the cone company could regain the upper hand if they installed motion sensors in their cones with pre-recorded messages, so when someone passed by, they'd hear "Hot enough for ya?" or "Nice rug" or "What's that smell?" or "Are you wearing a thong?" You know, the kind of thing that brightens people's day and makes them glad to be alive.

Good thing I'm an ace proofreader. The sentence above originally read, "Are you wearing a thing?" Which changes it utterly.