THIS IS GOING TO UPSET YOU FOR THE REST OF THE DAY

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...unless you're one of those types off whose backs, like a duck's, water rolls. Today I feel infected. Not with a social disease, God forbid, which He doesn't, at all, but some kinda sinus thing that feels like a couple of Geoducks have crawled up in there to die, like a elephant's graveyard or whatnot. Feels like it's trying to squirt my eyeballs out and squish my brain against my skull, or whatever the screw-worms have left of my brain, probably just the giblets. And pushing at my ear canals so that the little hammer and stirrup things are hanging out, collecting dust and gnats and stuff, and sending gobbets of mucus down my gullet like a Shriner's Parade of slugs.

There. If that doesn't coax a shut up, Wally out of Laurelines, I don't know what will.