WATCH AND LEARN

Don't make the same mistakes I made, people. I'm trying to save you a lifetime of heartache here. It's the least I can do. Several years ago, we shot a commercial in LA whose central prop was a barrel full of bugs. Our bug wrangler (yep, that was his title) showed us with great zeal how he would build the bug pit in layers. The bottom layer was always mealy worms, because they writhed and therefore made the whole mess writhe. On top you wanted a nice mix of shiny ones and translucent ones and ones with long protuberances that the camera could pick up. And you had to be very careful not to take too long with the shot, because some of the more restless ones would begin to eat the others, and leave lots of them half-eaten because there were so many there to taste. Sometimes I look inside myself and that's what I see. So pay close attention to my advice.