NEW PRESCRIPTION

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Sometimes I feel like I can see right into people. No, not like X-Ray Spex, I gave up on them long ago. One of my first disappointments with advertising. I mean see right into their guts, see the wavering stacks of protoplasm, emotions radiating from them like hair out of lime jello. And I want to put my arm around each of them and say, "you're doing fine, dammit!" And then stick out my foot and trip them. When jello spills out onto the sidewalk, it's almost impossible to pick out all the little things that stick to it. I say almost. In other words, I'm deeply ambivalent about people. My valence fluctuates wildly. My last wife used to accuse me of being a sociopath, and looking at me through one prism, you would agree. But then turn it slightly, and I'm a sobbing blob of... of lime jello. Just like everyone else! I'm just a helping that got out of the bowl, that's all. And you can never go back to the bowl of jello. Don't write to me and tell me it's Jell-o®. What it comes down to is, I've had it up to here with everything and everybody, but I want more of it. Know what I mean? Of course you do. Hey, you want me instead of Ruben? This is what you get. I feel like throwing up. I'm going to put it on my to-do list.