PUNDITS

Punditry has been spread too thin. There are only two or three pundits worth turning your earholes toward, yet because of what the pundits call the "24-hour news cycle", there are hundreds of pundits out there. Maybe thousands. And many more would-be pundits waiting in the wings for that call from CNBC. They're falling out of the pundit programs in our major universities like maggots falling out of a jar of spaghetti sauce that accidentally got stuck in a box of odds and ends that wound up in the back of your hall closet and then when you pulled the box out the bottom collapsed and the spaghetti sauce jar fell to the floor and broke and out came the aforementioned pundits. The troubling thing is that pundits are absolutely unqualified to do anything else but dispense punditry. Send them to Home Depot for spackle and you'll have to run out there a few hours later and retrieve them. You'll probably find them on the swing sets outside the front door. The kicker is this: they don't know any more about current events than the rest of us. They're either stating the obvious, such as "it's not just Wall Street feeling the pinch, it's Main Street too," or spouting their chosen party line, such as "Tom, I think it's a legitimate question whether Obama is in a homosexual relationship with a card-carrying terrorist. It goes to character." If I had any gumption, I'd go be a pundit. Easy money. Except my only suit has nasty spaghetti sauce stains all over it. Not a deal-breaker, but a concern.