Toward the end of a roll of Scott tissue, the 1000 brand, the paper on the roll develops ripples, the way layers of rock become rippled from the pressure of other layers over eons, but happening more rapidly, I would guess, since eons ago we were not using toilet paper. Strictly speaking, eons ago there was no we, depending, of course, on how you measure an eon, and since there is no absolute measure, it was probably imprudent of me to use the phrase “strictly speaking”, but once again, this is my blog, and I’ll use the phrase “strictly speaking” any fucking way I feel like using it, also the word “fucking”, which I am learning your Irish use as casually as the rest of us would use “have” or “it”, but since I am not of Irish stock, still carries a small electric shock and falling from a WASP’s lips like mine still causes people to sit up and pay attention.

What a shame, then, that I have nothing much to offer worth paying attention to. Just an observation about the ripples toward the end of a roll of Scott tissue, and how you hear, if you listen very carefully, a tiny “thup-thup-thup” as the ripples resolve themselves into a long white streamer, ready to do its duty.