MECHANICAL REPRODUCTION

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You should see how those eggs get fertilized. No, you probably shouldn't. Most people are totally in the dark about such goings-on. It's like they have blinders on. I just seem to have a knack for catching them at it. sometimes I can't get to sleep at night, there's such a racket coming from my drawing table. When I was a kid, my little sister used to lull herself to sleep by singing The Star-Spangled Banner. That used to keep me up, too. When I was, say, five-ish, I had a bed-wetting problem. One night when some relatives were staying over, my dad had to share my bed with me. He was so heavy my side of the bed was sharply slanted; I had to hold on to the edge of the mattress to keep from rolling into him. Sometime in the night I wet the bed, and of course it ran downhill. Dad never said anything. He just glared at me over his cornflakes the next morning. So how come very large cockroaches are the size of a Buick? You know, if you saw a cockroach the size of a Mini Cooper, that would be one damn big cockroach. You'd probably run screaming from it, too. For that matter, if you saw a cockroach the size of a remote-controlled toy car, you'd run screaming. Tell you the truth, if I saw a regular-sized cockroach, I would run screaming. I probably shouldn't tell you that. That info would be at cross-purposes with my carefully-nurtured image of dashing swashbuckledom.