SCULPTURE

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Lately I've been motivated to undertake large-scale projects. I think it's a sign of the maturing process. Last month I launched a Toys For Guns program. But I didn't get any takers. So now what am I going to do with all these toys? But I remain undeterred. My new idea is to stage an East Coast version of Burning Man. Only instead of in the desert it would have to be at the beach, or maybe a small neighborhood park. And instead of 'shrooms and whatnot, there would be beer. Light beer, I think. And instead of orgies, we would have Nintendo. That way I wouldn't have to do laundry first, and I wouldn't have to lose 50 pounds, and I wouldn't have to invent a time machine and go back 20 years so I wouldn't be creepy. And instead of weird-tasting stews made from grains nobody has heard of, we would just order some pizzas. Or better yet, we could just have it at a pizza place, like Cogan's, which is across the street from me, so I wouldn't have to build a strange vehicle out of garbage that ran on human urine. In fact, to avoid a lot of complications, maybe I'll just go over to Cogan's and get a slice and a light beer. Sounds like a plan.