THE THREE STAGES OF BEACH LIFE

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I made my annual trek to the beach today. Just to fend off the relatives who shriek, "What?! You live so close to the beach and you never goflob dufop gehik gehak gehok bladi bu-bobbo pa-donk?" I have found the beach moderately charming on cold, blustery days with no signs of humanity about, but on a hot and sunny day, to go out in the hot sun and stand in the hot sand and let the hot sun beat down on you, what is that about? Not to mention subjecting your poor rods and cones to bare people who should never be seen without at least two layers of clothing on, in case of accidents. The high point of my day was breakfast at the Belvedere Coffee Shop, which lived up to Dr. Research's rave reviews. And everyone was fully clothed. Well, maybe the people behind the counter didn't have pants on, but I prefer to remain in the dark on that one.