VIEW OF DOWNTOWN SUFFOLK FROM TOP OF MR. PEANUT STATUE

If anyone out there has not yet climbed the Mr. Peanut statue and experienced the spectacular views from the top of his top hat, you don't know what you're missing. I just wish they would install some sort of stairway so more people would give it a try.

In the last 24 hours, I have watched two movies where a man and a woman meet cute, the man (or woman) behaves badly, the woman (or man) leaves in a huff, the man (or woman) delivers a charming apology, the woman (or man) refuses to be charmed, the man (or woman) walks out of her (or his) life, the woman's (or man's) friends urge her (or him) to stop being stupid and go get the man (or woman), and she (or he) does so. These two movies are just the tip of the iceberg. 65% of movies end this way. "Dark Knight" ended this way, only the woman was killed in an explosion of 200 drums of some kind of explosive, and the man had half his face burned away so you could see his bare eyeball moving around and the tendons moving his jaw as he spoke. In my life, none of these things happen. I don't mind very much that the exploding drums or the exposed eyeball thing doesn't happen, but neither do the reconciliations pulled from the jaws of defeat. My scenarios go like this: man and woman meet cute, man acts stupid, woman moves to a different state, the end. You could not sell this treatment to a studio head. It would make a shitty movie. It would never be called the "feelgood movie of the year." I should stop going to movies and stick to reality tv.