THREE MORE! ONLY A FEW BILLION LEFT TO GO

I recognize that the goal of sketching every human being on the planet is highly unrealistic. I mean, I'm not stupid. So what if the goal were to sketch just the people in the United States? Let's see, if I allow 10 minutes per sketch, that would come to...3,425 years to complete. And that's without bathroom breaks. And it doesn't take into consideration that the population will have turned over several times in that period, unless our scientists get off their lazy asses and invent immortality, which would make my job easier, as long as we're all sterilized. And then there's travel! If I'm going to make a dent in the list I can't be bothered catching planes to Lawrence, Kansas and other scary places. Subjects would have to be brought to me, which implies that I would have to be feared and worshipped to the extent that people would be motivated to travel great distances for the opportunity to be sketched by me. This goal is beginning to seem unwieldy too. And I'm well known for avoiding unwieldy things. I'm not too hot on wieldy things, either, if the truth be known. So maybe I'll choose another challenge, like seeing how many Puffy Cheetos I can fit into my mouth at one time.