I WATCH IT SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO

You lot don't know how lucky you are. I guess I was thinking that any show that called itself "The Welk Stars" must have a pretty sharp sense of irony. I was wrong, as I am with disturbing regularity these days. This was nothing more than an hour-long commercial for an excruciating DVD, possibly developed by the CIA to take the place of waterboarding, and a compelling argument for immediately revoking any and all government moneys from PBS and giving it to hedge fund managers, no strings attached.The only redeeming moment for me came when a sparkly lady named Norma Zimmer said this: "As the years go by, our relationship will only grow more aggressive." I swear, that's what she said. So I answer, bring it on, osteoporotic rhinestone lady. Show me what you got.