TERRIBLE ACCIDENT AT SKETCHCRAWL

Details are still coming in, but evidently Doug's bladder let loose at Shuck's, causing much consternation and "Ew!"-type exclamations. Or maybe it was a spilled beer, I don't know, and does it really matter? If so, it was just pre-processed pee, so what's the difference? Bloggers don't have to worry about shit like that. Truth is so ephemeral, and even if you know the truth, it doesn't help, so you might as well pick an interesting lie to believe.