RARE BURMESE PANDA CAUGHT IN LOVE NEST WITH 3 NEW JERSEY MAYORS

Okay, you got me, that's not true. See, these posts are showing up on Facebook now, and I have to compete with cutesy scavenger hunts and idiotic quizzes that determine which cast member of 2 1/2 Men I'm most like. Even my smart friends are indulging themselves in this stuff. Doesn't anybody work anymore? The nation's productivity must be taking a big hit since Facebook caught fire. Which, now that I think about it, is not necessarily a bad thing. The way we define productivity these days, it doesn't mean actually producing things, like desk lamps and tangelos. It means creating fragile towering edifices of make-work gibberish for the sole purpose of spinning money out of thin air. It's what the collapse was all about. It's what "middle management" is all about. It could have been what blogging's all about, except there's no money in it for the likes of me, which allows me to be all sanctified and whatnot.