Many years ago, before my ethical standards had lapsed to the point where I could work in advertising, I tried my hand at sex research. "Tried my hand," get it? Ah ha ha ha ha. Never mind, it's not funny. Nothing's funny. We're all fucked. You know, I wouldn't have minded the election results if so many people didn't believe things that were demonstrably false. You know why people believe such outrageously untrue things about Obama? Because they want to. And that leads me down paths I'm not in a mood to go down today.