OKAY, JUST ONE MORE

Diversions like this are so irresistible when there's work to be done. How am I ever going to be able to afford an iPad at this rate? I should take up bank robbery. That would leave me time to play while I lay low till the heat's off. I wouldn't be that good at the actual robbing, but I would really be good at laying low till the heat's off. Except it won't work because of my shape. The minute I walk in the bank door, someone would say. "Hey, look, it's that turnip-shaped guy who lives across the street from Cogan's. Walt somebody. Hey Walt, what's with the mask?" And that would be it. I'd have to pretend I was collecting for UNICEF or some shit, and then I'd walk out with $1.50 instead of thousands. At least I wouldn't have to worry about an exploding dye pack. Would I? They wouldn't stick one in just for $1.50, would they? Now I'm too worried to go back to work.