ENCROACHMENT

I hate to keep being a naysayer, but you lot refuse to listen to my nays. I'm talking about nature, of course, which is still determined to reclaim its territory, despite our best paving efforts. Just look at those tendrils being sent over the ramparts here. If I should collapse on the porch, rendered mute and motionless by a stroke or extreme lethargy, do you think nature would dial 911? No, it would proceed to send legions of tiny creatures into my nostrils and ear holes to deposit brazilians of eggs in my fertile brain. If I were allowed to lie there long enough, and given our mail carrier's reliability it could happen, nature would see to it that I would eventually return to from whence I came, and I don't mean Mom. Nature is not our friend, people. It's teeming with entities that would like nothing more than to sting us, bite us, suck our blood, drown us, burn us to a crisp, and give us unsightly rashes. So wake up, citoyens! Start mixing that cement.