COFFEE

I just got back from the grocery store, where I saw a headline in the Enquirer: "AL GORE SEX ATTACK." As soon as I saw it, I said to myself, "I knew it! It was only a matter of time! That poor soft naive man, taken cruel advantage of by a wretched pervert--I hope it didn't hurt too much!" Needless to say, I was stunned to read a bit of the fine print. You know, if I were a masseuse and Al Gore asked me for a happy ending, I would have said, "Al! The Florida primary was 10 years ago! Time to move on!" And then it would have dawned on me what he really wanted and I would have said "EWWWWWWWWW, GROSS!!!" And then laughed a lot. See this all started back in the primaries when that lady made him start wearing earth tones. Now this.

Actually, it's pretty disgusting. Does fame have to make monsters of everybody?