REPORTAGE: FERRY

Today I treated myself to a respite from watching and drawing pols and pundits. If ever two societal groups deserved to be closeted with each other, it's these muttonheads. I was teetering in indecision until NBC announced that the featured guest on Meet The Press was Orange Man. Is this guy color blind? Has Mrs. Boehner never whispered, "Honey, I think you have a TanFastik problem. Let's get you some help." Sadly, his complexion quickly fades in comparison to the unearthly glow of his words. Democrats should look after his safety: they should assist him in crossing the street, urge him to get regular prostate exams, leave whole-wheat muffins on his doorstep, ring the doorbell and scamper away. Because he single-handedly makes any Democrat look like a warm human being. And his words are perfectly matched with his demeanor. His face is what you should see when hearing an ad voice-over say "suffering from constipation?" But enough about The Boner. There are apparently long-time Hampton Roads residents who have never taken the ferry. Hard to believe, isn't it? If you start from the Norfolk side, you get to discover the pleasures of downtown Portsmouth, which might just change your mental image of that beleaguered little town.