BUSKERS AT PULP FICTION NIGHT

I got up early this morning thinking it was Sunday. I could have slept in. What a waste of unconsciousness! At my age, of course, little slips in the continuum like this send out warning signals: this could be the beginning of the Big Slide. Next year at this time I could be wandering around a Wal-Mart parking lot in my bathrobe. One reason I've avoided buying a bathrobe, the wandering factor. If I'm found wandering, I think it would be nice to be in a tuxedo. Befuddlement with class. At any rate, what a waste of a brain, huh? I never got the chance to invent that Personal Death Ray. Or I could have invented a time machine and gone back to colonial times and been an African-American homesteader. Or maybe just gone back a day or two and found my cell phone. One thing I think would have been fun to do with a time machine is put a bag of Puffy Cheetos in my pocket and go back to, say, Europe in the 1400's, where everybody was suffering from the plague and body odor and whatnot, and say "Look, everybody! Cheetos!" And some people, mostly peasants, would cower in fear and think I was trying to steal their souls or something, but others would partake of the Cheetos and worship me and give me a fiefdom. And after a while I would get bored and announce that I was ascending to sit on the other side of God from Jesus, where I would lean back and make faces at Jesus behind God's back, but really I would come back to the present, whenever that is, and all the history books would instantaneously change to reflect the earliest appearance of tasty cheese snacks. Wow, good blog entry! I'm glad I accidentally got up early now! Now it's time for a nap.