I research these topics so you people don't have to. So you can go ahead and take acting lessons or have a butt wax or learn to speak Finnish or have skin harvested from your thigh or watch a Scooby Doo marathon or build a Van der Graaf generator from popsicle sticks or try out for the Green Bay Packers or wear a ball gag or embed a year's worth of your fingernail clippings in clear gelatin or make yourself sick imagining there's a naked man in your attic or learn to imitate your computer's alert sounds or discover a new imaginary vegetable or have your name legally changed to a picture of Chinese food or make one of your enemies the executor of your estate just to annoy them or attend a meeting wearing a mouth guard or hand everyone you meet a cigarette or I don't know, do I have to think of everything?