THE FIRST ASS-KICKING POST OF 2011

The New Year's Fan has become something of a tradition around these parts. Rosy-cheeked revelers gather round the fan as the countdown to the New Year begins, and then as the clock strucks midnight, we all hurl handfuls of crab dip into the fan, and then just stand around and observe the mess. By the way, that "strucks" in the last sentence is a by-product of one of the prerequisites of this tradition, the main one really, which is that your bloodstream must be diluted with alcohol to a degree that would make a state trooper salivate in order for this behavior to seem funny. In the cold light of day, forget it. In fact, it doesn't really seem very funny right now. This is not an auspicious beginning.