THEY ALSO SERVE WHO ONLY SIT AND WAIT FOR ZONE D TO BE CALLED

I used to chuckle superciliously (and silently, after learning that loud supercilious chuckling is not universally well-received) at the people in airport waiting lounges bent over their smart phones in dumb mindless texting, until I got my first smart phone and discovered it wasn't dumb and mindless at all! It's an intellectual exercise, employing the highest functions of the haggis-like organs lying in pulsating splendor in our rude bumpy skulls. I mean, why go to the tedious lengths of warming up our vocal chords and propelling vocalisms from between our luscious gleaming come-hither lips when we could be laboriously typing out the same words with laughable misspellings in a text? And by "luscious gleaming come-hither lips", I'm referring not to my own, which are usually referred to, when referred to at all, in association with words like "drool", and which, when parted, I'm assured by a famed commercial director, immediately lower my perceived IQ by 40 points or more, but to those of others of oppositional sex, and boy howdy, I certainly get my money's worth out of subordinate clauses, don't I? I tip my hat to Aloysius J. Subordinate, inventor of same in 1797, or would if were wearing a hat, which I am not, so I might therefore tip a light coating of dandruff, which is like unto a dusting of snow soon to melt from the heat generated by the activity of a vibrant and energetic brain, which, as demonstrated by the above, is not necessarily the case here.