Wow, it was more like Dogfest. Impossible to make it through the gauntlet without getting your crotch nuzzled--and then there were the dogs! Hahahahaha. Hey, I've been told that I have a wonderful sense of humor, so if you didn't think that was particularly funny, the problem is YOU, not me. The great majority of the booths lining the river were devoted to dog waste, and no, that wasn't a joke, so don't worry if you didn't laugh. Apparently we generate 150 tons of dog waste per person per year--well, not we personally, our dogs, and it all goes into our drinking water. It would be fun to see if the oenophiles among us, those with discerning and supercilious palates, could swirl some Norfolk water around in their capacious mouths and discern a slight aftertaste of Labradoodle. When I hear facts like the above, I can sympathize with the tea partiers and libertarians and other non-empathetic types, I really can. Sometimes it seems like just one too many worrisome issues to empathize with, and you feel like shouting, "That's enough, goddammit! I'm going to do what I want and not worry about it! Our society is resourceful and inventive, they'll find a solution. Anyways, it's time for 'America's Next Celebrity Flame-Out'." The problem is, if enough of us think that way, who's left to deal with the problem? The gummint! And when they do, we get all whiney about socialism and jackboots on our necks and shit. We Americans are selfish babies. We believe giant flat-screen teevees are our due. And if some uptight schoolmarm tries to remind us of their true cost, we clap our hands over our ears and sing "La la la la la" at the top of our voices. Either that or turn on Fox News. Same difference.