I'm often asked, "George, why is it that you come to figure drawing group and invariably end up not drawing the figure but the other drawers?" To which I usually reply, "My name's not George." To which the asker responds, "Oh, I call all old people George. It's just easier that way." And then they wander off, not waiting for an answer to their original question. Later on, safely ensconced in my Lopsided Oval of Solitude, surrounded by my faithful minions, okay, my cat, who is single-mindedly working on producing a hairball for my delectation, I ponder the question that has been posed to me by the unformed young slacker who knows me as George. And I would respond in this wise:

1) Nude models pose. Pose is artifice. Artifice is interesting to me for about 15 minutes, 20 tops.

2) I love to draw fabric, i.e., clothes.

3) STFU.

That last is a bone thrown to the youth, to demonstrate that I am "with it", that there may be snow on the roof, but the furnace is burning hot and emitting foul blasts of toxic fumes, but more about that another time. So, in summary, the 20-minute pose, which has been the mainstay of our agenda, works fine for me, but when, as lately, the oil painters among us (who work as slowly as Galapagos tortoises, so that if you watched them for a few minutes, you'd be hard-pressed to declare that any actual movement has occurred) have gained the upper hand and imposed 40- and even 60-minutes poses on us, which causes my mind and its eye to wander--in this case settling upon the little bald-headed guy who showed up at the last minute and plopped himself down right in front of me, obscuring my view of the model, which, if you have been paying attention, and believe me, I don't blame you if you haven't, you will know I received with a certain amount of ambivalence.

Now look what I've done. In my rambling old-guy manner I've taken up my allotted space without even getting to the interesting stuff, such as Rennie's out-of-the-blue declaration that some software programs display perspective backwards, or that Mark has signed up for yet another online dating site, this one with the promising name UnderTheTable.com.