My carcass has washed up on the Shores of Accountability after having spent the night being tossed in the Seas of Intemperance, randomly ripped at by the Hammerhead Sharks of Rum Punch, pummelled about in the Sargasso Sea of Barbecued Ribs and Diabolical Miniature Quiches. Now, lying helplessly on the Beach of Karmic Vengeance, I am poked and prodded by rescue workers who debate whether to attempt to revive me and load me into the Giant Hammock of Human Kindness and airlift me to the Aquarium of Eventual Rehabilitation, or get out the Chainsaws of Revulsion and dismantle and cart away my remains before they begin to rot and cause the innocent Sunbathers of Righteousness to hold their noses and turn their heads away , desperately trying to hold back the Vomitus of Opprobrious Contempt.