That’s right, I got up the other morning and my scanner was lying there belly-up  with little x’s for eyes. So I had to resort to old-fashioned ways. Well if you want to call an iPhone old-fashioned. I mean, it’s not as if I had to use a BlackBerry ahahahahahaha. Sorry, just having a little fun with my BlackBerry-owning friends. Actually, it’s probably cool to walk around with a BlackBerry, like having a little bit of history in your pocket. Do they still have those rotary dials? Just wondering. Damn, ridiculing BlackBerry owners distracted me from my original intention, which was to ridicule backwards-hat guys. See that guy in the middle? Not only does he sport the backwards hat, he’s got the cut-off sleeves, and--oh my, what’s that? A Hardee’s bag? I believe that’s three strikes, dude. Oh. lay off, people! What’s the point of being a liberal if you can’t be elitist? So anyways, yesterday morning I saw a commercial and discovered what my true malady was: I suffer from PMD, or Premature Mental Decline. I swear, that’s now a real disease, apparently, in need of immediate medicaments. So I can now rule out RLS and ED, my problem has been PMD all along. As in: Pharmaceutical Marketing Deception. Now there’s a bunch of people worthy of ridicule.