Last night in the Republican debate, and yes I know it’s my own damn fault for watching it, Mitt Obamney, in response to a question from a reporter, proclaimed, “Yes, corporations are people!” meaning that corporations are composed of human beings, just like all other social entities. But here’s the thing: corporations are people in the same way that berserk mobs are people. They were formed precisely to allow individuals to submerge their humanity. They are a dispensation to permit us to dispense with any concern for our fellow man in the pursuit of money. So we can "invest" and get a "return on our investments" without having to witness the sausage being made. Management teams and boards of directors have one simple directive: make money for investors. If they don’t, they’re gone. They owe no allegiance to their communities; in fact, in this age of multinationals, they owe no allegiance to their countries of origin. They hire whoever will work for the least money, in whatever godforsaken corner of the globe they can find them. They skimp on materials and reduce the quality of their craftsmanship for the sole purpose of improving their bottom line. Want to know why Americans, blessed with the greatest riches mankind has ever known, are simultaneously obese and malnourished? Because our food supply is in the hands of multinational corporations, that’s why. I feel like standing on a street corner in a robe shouting “wake up, people!” but I probably won’t. For I have a bag of Puffy Cheetos.