GREAT MOMENTS IN THE HISTORY OF ME (THIS IS FROM THE CHAPTER ON LEAKY AIR MATTRESSES)

Ach! Every year, just when I think the phrase “me time” has finally been retired to the graveyard of dumbass discredited narcissistic new-age claptrap ideas, my local public radio station lights up the airwaves with another fundraiser marathon. Sorry, this post was going to be about my leaky air mattress from 2006. I got distracted. Now it’ll have to wait another year. Sorry, those are the rules.