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Adorable kitty pictures are the bane of the internet, so if you’re into inflicting banes on people, an adorable kitty picture is what you reach for, assuming you don’t have a video clip of Eric Cantor saying anything at all.

I’m using the term “adorable”, of course, to enhance the search engine optimization of this post. SEO is the bane of online copywriters, which is why I use it.  A bane is a bane. Have you ever been instructed to add a misspelled version of a keyword to your copy, so if anyone misspelled it in a search engine query, they would come right to your site?Then you know what a bane SEO is. SEO is a means of tricking search engines into sending you to a site which otherwise wouldn’t be interesting enough to attract you. Bane city.

So anyway, this here cat is not being adorable at all. This cat is attempting, as it does approximately 24 hours a day, to practice mind control. “Go into the kitchen,” this cat is telling me. “Go into the kitchen now. Open up a can of food.” (Cats don’t call cat food “cat food”. They just call it “food”. Just like people in California  simply call that chain restaurant “Pizza Kitchen”.) So that cat may think she’s being adorable by staring at me from the bathroom sink during Business Time. but she’s not. She’s being  a bane in the ass.