THE GALLERY OF CASCADING HAIR

This is a lot more interesting than the photos that were hastily taped to the walls: apparently a shower of ions or whatever, probably from sunspots, caused everyone’s hair to head instantaneously gravity-wise, like a dry cloudburst. It was spooky. See, if I was a Republican, I probably would have guessed that God inflicted this straight-hair plague upon us because of gay marriage, but I look for the scientific explanation first.