Once again, nature has deposited its nasty ejaculate all over our sidewalks. I mean I get it, you're all hot to procreate and stuff, but on the sidewalk? Talk about spilling your seed on barren ground! It's a sidewalk. What, you think nine months from now, this sidewalk is going to be a forest of baby trees? All I'm saying is, if you're not even going to try to aim, this is a lot of wasted effort. If you insist on behaving this way, why don't you do it in the road? At least that way I won't have to wade through your love pods on the way to the drugstore, where, by the way, a disembodied voice shouted "WELCOME TO RITE AID" from somewhere behind me, and when i spun around to see where the voice was coming from and decide whether to respond "Thank you for welcoming me to Rite Aid", I stumbled into a cardboard display of fruit-flavored mascara or whatnot, and while nothing fell on the floor, it made a loud hollow sound, like a bass drum, and every. single. person in the store turned and gave me an annoyed look, like I had given them a wet willie or something. So there's that too. Also, yesterday I sat on the porch swing and spilled some of my double latte in my lap, and I don't have to tell you what that looks like. Which brings us full circle, kinda.