Disclaimer for all you worry-warts out there:
No, I'm not having suicidal thoughts. I'm much too cowardly and fearful to wrap things up like that. I'm just sitting here reaping the rewards of my Sherman's March of karmic wreckage that constituted the first two-thirds of my life. I figure the endless hours of sobbing self-pity, of curdled loathsome self-hatred, operate as some kind of payback on the installment plan. Probably not enough time left to square the books, but one does what one can.