KENYAN RUNNERS SYNCHRONIZE WATCHES

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It was strange. A front row of Kenyans took off and ran the race in about ten minutes. Then for the next four hours you got to watch thousands of also-rans shuffle, prance, slog, ramble, stumble, topple across the finish line. It was like watching ten minutes of a NASCAR race, followed by the rush hour on I-264. Well, that's not a very good analogy, because watching ten minutes of a NASCAR race is pretty damn excruciating all by itself. Ooh, did you ever stop and think where the word "excruciating" comes from? Ick. Wait a minute, scratch that, men don't say "ick", do they? Or "yum". I've got that written down somewhere.