MATH LESSON

kleinb.jpg

A Klein Bottle is one of those topological constructs that are invented by math whizzes when they're extremely bored or too sick to come to work or whatnot. So they make up silly contradictory things that eventually end up in some "Brain Teasers" feature on the back of Count Chocula boxes. But what they don't tell you is how dangerous these imaginary things can be. If, for example, you actually made a Klein Bottle and filled it with water, your head would explode. I know this stuff because my niece is a math whiz. Except she's a math whiz out in Kansas, where they believe that string theory didn't evolve from earlier disciplines like topology, God invented it in 1955. I think I probably spelled "Chocula" wrong up there, now that I look at it, but I'll be damned if I'll look it up. My time is too precious to waste it on cereal names. And what a waste it is to lose one's mind, to quote one in a long series of pre-literate Republican leaders. Okay, time to go read some Three Stooges shooting scripts.