PARK SLOPE DOORWAY

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No, Steve Buscemi never emerged. Neither did Jennifer Connolly. Or Maggie Gyllenhaal. Or Caroline Kennedy. I'm beginning to think this Park Slope thing is a big hoax, played on us yokels from the sticks, for the amusement of the cognoscenti (that's Italian for "prostitute"). Thank God I've been to the Big Apple a few times, and had the "street smarts" to only pay the guy $20 for the bench seat across the street from this building.